Undeserving
by allyouneedis
Summary: When Blaine screws up, bad, he has to break up with Kurt. It's killing him inside, but it's for the best. But when Santana finds out what's really going on, all hell will break loose. Warning: brief, non-explicit non-con.


**A really old one that has been sitting, unfinished, in my computer for a while... I was my first foray into the world of angst... let me know what you think :)  
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**Warnings: brief not explicit non-con, angst**

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><p>He shuffled down the hallway, a silent spectre. His normally perfect hair lay in a tangled mess of greasy, almost black curls, often falling into his downcast eyes. He didn't bother to brush it away. His legs swam in too big sweatpants, topped off with a ratty old t-shirt. He didn't care. He felt faint from the hunger and exhaustion that came with not eating and not sleeping. He deserved it.<p>

Most of the students in the halls ignored him; he was okay with that. The ones who didn't ignore him gave him dirty looks, whispered behind his back loud enough so he could hear, occasionally shoved him into lockers. It really hurt, because the people who were doing that were the ones he thought were his friends, until he screwed up. He couldn't blame them.

The one in the wheelchair and the two Asians glared at him every time they saw him. The two divas hissed curses at him, wished death upon him, threatened him. The blonde would walk up to him with questions in her eyes and on her lips, but her Latina lover would lead her away, shaking her head. The mowhawked teen and the really tall quarterback shoved him into the lockers, tripped him, and if there were teachers around they simply growled threats of dismemberment into his ear.

He could have switched schools. At this point he easily could have transferred back to Dalton, rejoined the Warblers, let Wes and David distract him from his self-loathing. But he was tired of running away from his problems. This was his own damn mess and he was determined to suffer the consequences. He needed to suffer.

He saw the tall boy walking towards him in the hall, and didn't even bother bracing himself for the inevitable blow. He was shoved to the side, his body slamming painfully into the cool metal and he crumpled to the ground.

"Finn, don't."

Oh God, that voice. It shattered his heart again and again each time he heard it. It sounded so small, so sad. He wanted to cradle the boy in his arms and never let him feel sadness or pain ever again. But this was all his fault, he put the pain in that beautiful voice, and he would never forgive himself.

"He deserves it, the piece of shit."

"Please." The taller boy sighed, and they walked away, leaving him there on the floor as the hallway slowly emptied of students. When he was finally alone, Blaine buried his face in his hands and cried.

* * *

><p>"Kurt, come on, eat something, boo," Mercedes prodded, nudging his elbow. She was trying to force a chocolate bar into his hand.<p>

He just shook his head and rested it on his hands. "Can't." Although his stomach growled painfully, it wasn't nearly as bad as the pain in his heart. The thought of food made him sick.

"This is silly, Kurt, and it's gone on long enough. You are so much better than him." Rachel was saying from across the table, "We are having an intervention at my house after school today. There will be chocolate, ice cream, sappy movies, and Kleenex. You will _cry_, because dealing with it your way is not healthy."

Kurt simply shrugged his shoulders noncommittally.

"I wish you'd just let me beat him up," Puck growled from the end of the table. He hated that that stupid hobbit came waltzing in from the stupid Garglers and broke Kurt's heart, and that there was nothing he could do about it.

"No." Kurt's voice was loud and firm. He knew that the boys were shoving Bl—him into lockers; there was nothing he could do about that. But if anyone _hurt_ him... Kurt's stomach clenched painfully and he thought he might throw up. "Just leave him alone guys."

"Why should we?" Finn was angry; he had been angry since it all happened. Nobody hurt his brother and got away with it. "We all warned him what would happen if he hurt you."

"Why did Blaine hurt you, Kurt?"

Kurt hissed in pain, dropping his head into his arms on the table.

"Brittany, shush," Santana whispered. Everyone knew not to say his name; Kurt couldn't bear to hear it.

Suddenly his head jerked up, turning towards the doorway of the cafeteria. As if by some sixth sense, Kurt could tell the exact moment that Bl—he walked into the room. Even though it was killing him, Kurt couldn't stop staring at the boy he once—no, _still_, despite everything—loved. Sensing his gaze, the curly haired boy looked up and met his eyes, then looked away quickly.

Kurt couldn't take it anymore; he shoved himself up from the table amid exclamations of worry and walked off without a look back. As soon as he cleared the cafeteria doors, he broke into a run. He kept running, not realizing where he was going, until he finally stopped on the stairs of the empty courtyard. A familiar scene popped into his head, unbidden. Blaine, standing there in his dapper blazer, smiling his dapper smile, crooning to Kurt on these very stairs. Kurt, wrapped in Blaine's arms, telling him he would never say goodbye to him. _Somewhere only we know_... Blaine... Finally the weeks' worth of pain and anguish bubbled up inside Kurt and broke to the surface. He curled into himself on the cold stone steps, rocking back and forth as he let it all out, keening.

Why did Blaine stop loving him? Kurt had asked himself that question so many times over the past couple of weeks; it ran in a permanent loop in his brain. Why did Blaine stop loving him? Did he do something wrong? He tried to remember what had happened in the weeks leading up to the breakup, but nothing that explained it came to mind. They spent the entire break together, Blaine spent Christmas with Kurt's family, they went to the New Year's party at Quinn's house together... Then a couple days later, Blaine was telling him "it's not you, it's me." Why did Blaine stop loving him?

From around the corner at the top of the stairs Blaine watched him, tears tracking down his face. He had watched Kurt run off suddenly, and had to follow him. This was Blaine's very own ninth circle of hell, watching Kurt suffer. But it was better this way; the sooner Kurt got over him and moved on, the better. Kurt deserved so much more. He kept having to remind himself that he was doing this because he loved him.

Kurt felt that he wasn't alone, and he looked around wildly, until his eyes landed on the figure at the bottom of the steps, making his way toward Kurt. Not Blaine. Dave. A year ago, the sight of Dave Karofsky coming toward him would have sent Kurt running, but not anymore. The ex-homophobe had finally come out, and a surprising turn of events followed. No, the bullying and mocking hadn't completely quit, but the physical violence was practically non-existent, since Dave had been the main instigator of that. Dave had become a much nicer person, now that he wasn't fighting his personal demons all the time. Kurt still wouldn't consider them friends, not exactly, but he helped the football player out when he needed it. He knew that Dave still had feelings for him, but Kurt had made sure Dave knew they weren't reciprocated.

Dave sat down on the steps beside Kurt, opening his arms without saying a word. With a harsh sob, Kurt leaned in to the strong, supportive arms and let Dave comfort him.

Blaine swallowed back bile as he watched Dave comfort Kurt. He wanted nothing more than to run down there, punch Dave in his ugly face, and wrap Kurt in his arms, but he couldn't. He wanted to blame Karofsky for all of this; he wanted to so badly it hurt. But Blaine was not one of those people who would blame everything and everyone else for his problems, he had to take responsibility.

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><p><em>Blaine couldn't for the life of him remember how he got there. Not that he was complaining, as Kurt caused him to moan softly. It felt... different. His boyfriend must be trying out some new techniques. The last thing he remembered was Dave bringing them yet another round of tequila shots just before midnight. Blaine wondered vaguely if he missed the countdown. The next thing he knew, he was lying here—on a bed?—looking up at the ceiling as Kurt worked his magic. "Mmm, Kurt," he moaned.<em>

_The heat pulled away from him, and Blaine suddenly felt cold and exposed. "Not Kurt." A hot breath warmed his thigh._

_It took a few moments for the words to filter through the haze in his brain. The voice was all wrong... too deep and husky. What did it say? Not—not Kurt? Blaine's head snapped up and he felt dizzy and had to lean back on his elbows. Looking down he saw Dave's eyes meet his as he continued what he had been doing._

"_What the fuck?" Blaine cried out, suddenly aware. He scrambled up the bed away from the football player, yanking his pants back up around his waist. "What the hell are you doing, Dave?"_

"_Exactly what you begged me to do, Anderson." Karofsky was crawling towards him seductively._

"_No, no way... this can't... no." Blaine's eyes were dancing wildly around the room, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. His head was spinning, and he felt like he was going to be sick. "Where's Kurt?"_

"_I didn't know you wanted this to be a threesome, Blaine, but that can be arranged."_

_They seemed to be in the Fabray's guest bedroom, just him and Dave. Dave was still fully clothed, and reached a hand out to Blaine's leg. "Get the hell away from me, Karofsky," Blaine shouted, scrambling off the bed and backing into the corner._

_Dave's eyes turned angry, and he jumped off the bed, cornering Blaine. "That's not what you were saying two minutes ago," he growled._

"_I—no... I don't know what you're talking about," Blaine stammered. Why the hell was he in a room, alone with Dave? Why was he doing...that?_

"You_ led me in here, Blaine. _You_ wanted me to make you happy. _You_ wanted me to take you all the way._" _Dave had him pressed against the wall, one hand on either side of Blaine's head. His face was so close that Blaine could taste the booze on his breath._

"_No, no, no, no," Blaine was repeating over and over, shaking his head emphatically. "No. I need Kurt."_

_Karofsky slammed a hand into the wall next to Blaine's head, causing him to flinch. He felt Karofsky's hot breath on his ear as he growled, "You think Kurt's going to want you when he finds out what happened in here?" _

_Blaine pictured Kurt's face as Dave told him everything. The pain, disappointment, and disgust in those eyes, which would be a cloudy gray color. Suddenly, Blaine couldn't breathe, and he knew that Kurt could never _ever_ find out about this. "You can't tell Kurt," he begged. "Please, please don't tell him."_

"_Why shouldn't I? You cheated on him."_

"_No, I didn't! I mean... I didn't mean to... I..." Oh God, what had he done? Kurt could never know, the betrayal would kill him. Blaine did this. He didn't mean to, but he did this._

"_That's a pathetic excuse. You don't deserve him."_

_The words ran like ice down Blaine's spine, but he knew Dave was right. How could he do this to Kurt? He didn't deserve him. He always knew that it was too good to be true, Kurt was too good for him, but he kept hoping that maybe the fates would miss their obvious mistake and let them be happy. But he screwed up, Blaine always screwed up. He knew there was only one way to fix this. "I'll break up with him. I'll leave him alone. He'll be better off without me. Just please don't tell him."_

_Dave was silent for a moment, and Blaine held his breath, praying that he would just forget about it and walk away. No such luck. "Fine. You break up with him and he won't have to hear about this," Karofsky said, as if he was doing Blaine a huge favour. Maybe he was._

* * *

><p>"Kurtsie, don't be sad."<p>

Kurt had become overwhelmed in Biology, the only class he shared with Blaine, and couldn't handle the occasional glimpses of those sad eyes. Brittany had followed him out; she was his lab partner after all, and it's not like she could do anything without him. Besides, the class was almost over. They had walked down the hall until they found the empty choir room, and were sitting in the chairs in the back row. "Sorry, Britt," he sighed.

"Don't be sorry either. I miss the old Kurt." She looked at him with sad, blank eyes. Then, suddenly, she smiled. "I know what will cheer you up! Let's sing a song!"

"I don't feel like it." Kurt buried his head in his hands, willing the tears not to come. He was tired of crying.

"Oh." She frowned. "You know what makes me happy when I'm sad? Kissing Santana. But I don't think you want to kiss Santana, do you?"

"No, Brittany, I don't want to kiss Santana."

Brittany pondered this dilemma for a moment, then her eyes lit up. "Oh, I know, you want to kiss Blaine! I can go get Blaine for you, and you can kiss him, and then you'll be happy." Brittany was pretty proud of herself for figuring that out all on her own. She knew that they were fighting or something right now, but her and Santana had a fight before and then they just talked and kissed and it was all better.

"I can't kiss him," Kurt said sadly.

"Why not? You love him," Brittany responded with absolute certainty, and Kurt couldn't argue.

"Yes, I do love him, and I miss him, but he doesn't love me." Why did Blaine stop loving him?

Brittany frowned again. "He has to. He's your dolphin."

"Well he doesn't," Kurt snapped, and immediately he was sorry when he saw the hurt in her eyes. Brittany didn't know any better, she was only trying to help him. "I'm sorry, Boo. I didn't mean to yell at you."

"It's okay. People do things they don't mean when they're sad. Sometimes hugs make me feel better too. Can I hug you?"

"Sure, Boo."

Brittany gave Kurt the biggest hug she could, and hoped that she could hug the sad out of him. She just didn't get it. Kurt loved Blaine, and Blaine loved Kurt, so why weren't they together? The world was broken, and Brittany needed to fix it.

* * *

><p>Three weeks, five days, thirteen hours, seven minutes. That's how long it's been since he broke up with Kurt. Two days, three hours, five minutes. That's how long it's been since he saw Kurt walking down the hallway, hand in hand with Dave. When he saw them he ran into the nearest bathroom and dry-heaved for a good five minutes; he couldn't throw up because he hadn't eaten anything in over 24 hours.<p>

He wasn't the only one who wasn't happy with this new... relationship. He could tell by the quirked eyebrows that passed between Finn and Puck, the angry frown that creased Santana's lips, the hushed whispers between Rachel and Mercedes. He could also tell by the fact that they had all but quit torturing him. Finn and Puck still glared at him, but didn't touch him anymore. Quinn had looked at him appraisingly, as if she knew there was more to the situation than met the eye. Mike and Artie were looking at him with concern now; he was obviously suffering, and they couldn't figure out what was going on.

It was Brittany, of course, who finally ended up talking to him. Somehow she was without Santana and she cornered Blaine in the hallway and dragged him into an empty classroom.

"Blaine, why are you sad? It makes me sad when you are sad."

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know." His voice was hoarse from not being used. Of course he knew why he was sad, he internally scoffed at the understatement, he just didn't know how to put his feelings into words.

"I think I know why you're sad. You're sad because you miss Kurt." Leave it to Brittany to sum it up perfectly. "Blaine, did you know Kurt is sad too? He's sad because he misses you." How many times had he promised himself that he wasn't going to cry anymore? And how many times had he broken that promise? "If you and Kurt get back together, you both won't be sad anymore."

"Brittany," he sighed at her endearing naïveté, "it's not that easy."

"Why not?"

It was complicated, but he didn't feel like getting into it with the blonde; she wouldn't understand. So he went with the obvious. "He's with Karofsky now."

"Kurt doesn't love Dave. He loves you."

"Sometimes love isn't enough." God, he sounded so cliché.

"_Your_ love is."

He stared at her blankly for a moment. "What do you mean?"

"Unicorn love is the most powerful love on earth."

"Unicorn love?"

She sighed, then spoke slowly as if explaining something to a young child. "You and Kurt are both unicorns, and you love each other. When two unicorns love each other it's more powerful than normal love, and it can do whatever it wants. And I'm pretty sure that dolphin unicorn love is even more powerful."

"Brittany, you don't understand. I did something really bad and I broke the unicorn love. I'm not a unicorn anymore."

"What did you do?"

"I—I can't..." But everything had been hiding deep inside Blaine for so long, and he felt ready to explode. He had to tell someone. "Brittany, this is a secret. Do you remember what happens when you spill a secret?"

Brittany nodded solemnly. "Every time you spill a secret, God kills a baby panda. That's why pandas are going extinct, because lots of bad people spill secrets all the time. Don't worry, Blaine, I won't kill any baby pandas."

Blaine didn't know who came up with that, he was guessing Santana, but he knew it worked. He told her everything that happened that night, everything he remembered anyways. He started tearing up, and Brittany stroked his hair, letting him cry on her shoulder. He told her how he had to break up with Kurt to protect him, and explained how Kurt would be better off without him. Kurt deserved another unicorn to love him, and Blaine was no unicorn. Blaine cried, and Brittany held him, until he had no tears left. When he was done, Brittany stood up and walked to the door. She looked back at him with sadness in her eyes. "I won't spill your secret, Blaine, but I think you should talk to Kurt." With that she turned and left, leaving Blaine alone with his misery once again.

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><p>Kurt didn't know what he was doing here. He didn't really care for Dave, he knew he was just leading him on, but Kurt couldn't bring himself to leave. Being with Dave was the only thing that told him that somebody still cared for him. Even if it wasn't the somebody that he wanted.<p>

When Dave had first suggested it, Kurt had gotten angry, accusing him of taking advantage of him in a vulnerable state. But Dave was the perfect gentleman after that, comforting him, always being there for him, and Kurt started to feel bad, realizing that Dave was doing this for him, not for himself. Dave truly cared for him, and Kurt needed to feel that. So he relented, and he and Dave started dating.

Kurt noticed, the first time Blaine saw them holding hands. He was always aware of the curly-haired boy whenever he was nearby. He saw his face blanch, saw him run to the nearest bathroom and not come out. He wanted to run to him, tell him that he was sorry, beg him to take him back, but he couldn't. This was Blaine's choice, if Blaine had stopped loving him then so be it. Kurt refused to be the desperate, begging ex.

When he was with Dave, Kurt tried to imagine that he was with Blaine, but it never worked. For one thing, Dave was much too big; Kurt had to reach up to kiss him. For another, Dave's kisses were sloppier and rougher, and never tender and sweet like Blaine's. And Blaine had always been the perfect gentleman, whereas Dave was always trying to push him beyond his comfort zone. But Dave loved him, and Blaine didn't, so Kurt would just have to deal with it.

"Are you thinking about him again?" Dave growled in his ear.

"No," Kurt lied. He was always lying to Dave. And he was always thinking about Blaine.

"Good." Dave either didn't know, or didn't care, that Kurt was lying to him. As long as Kurt let Dave do whatever he wanted, he could think about whatever he wanted. This time, though, Dave wanted more than just Kurt's silent acceptance. "Don't you like this? Am I doing something wrong?"

"No, it's good. It feels good." There he went, lying again.

"Then why aren't you hard?"

"I'm just stressed, I'm working on this big solo for Glee, and I have this big exam coming up..." Partial truths.

"Fine, whatever. Maybe you should just go."

"Uh, yeah. Sure, I'll go home." Blaine would have comforted him, watched a movie with him, made him forget about things he was stressed over. Dave just kicked him out of bed. When Kurt reached the doorway of the bedroom after getting dressed he looked back to say goodbye to Dave, only to find that he was already engrossed in a video game, so he just let himself out silently.

When he walked in the door to his own home half an hour later, Kurt was in no mood to talk to anybody. He walked straight past the living room, not noticing the concerned glances from his family members on the couch, and up to his bedroom. He threw himself on his bed and screamed into his pillow. Dammit, why the hell could he not stop thinking about Blaine? He had a new boyfriend now, one who actually cared about him... maybe Dave didn't show it all the time, but Kurt knew he cared... didn't he? So why was his damn ex, the one who didn't love him, always on his mind? He screamed again, pounding his mattress with his fist over and over, not even noticing someone come into his room until a strong hand grabbed his fist. He jerked up into a sitting position, taking deep breaths and trying to act perfectly calm. "Hi F-Finn."

"How's Dave?" Finn sat on the bed next to Kurt.

"Great. Things with Dave are going great." It wasn't only Dave that Kurt had been lying to a lot lately.

"You're not actually going to pretend you're okay are you? I may not be the smartest guy ever, but I'm not a complete idiot." Finn was really worried about Kurt. He could swear the boy was losing weight, not that he had any to lose in the first place; he didn't spend hours on his hair anymore; he didn't even bother chastising Finn or Burt for eating unhealthy.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm totally fine."

"Oh, right, I'm sorry. You are _totally fine_. Screaming into pillows and trying to beat the crap out of their beds is what _totally fine_ people do. Not talking to their families or friends is what _totally fine _people do." Finn didn't know if he was doing this right, he didn't know the first thing about talking to depressed people, but dammit, he needed a reaction from Kurt. Proof that somewhere, deep inside, his brother still existed.

"What do you want from me, Finn?" Kurt yelled. As if he wasn't having enough problems, he had to take shit from his own brother. "Seriously, what do you want?"

"I want you to admit that you're NOT FINE," Finn yelled back.

"FINE. I'm NOT FINE. I'm miserable, and lost, and depressed, and lonely, and totally and completely not f-fine. Are you h-happy?" Kurt was sobbing by this point, and Finn pulled him into his strong arms and rocked him gently. "Finn, I d-don't know what h-happened. I-I just... I just don't know. W-what did I do?"

"You didn't do anything wrong, Kurt. I don't know what happened, but it wasn't your fault."

"Then why-why-why..." He dissolved into incoherent babbling.

Finn rocked Kurt until he stopped crying, and even longer, until Kurt finally pulled away, curling himself up into a ball at the top of his bed. He let Finn sit beside him and put an arm around his shoulders. "Why are you with Dave?" Finn asked quietly.

Kurt was silent for a very long time, and Finn almost thought he wasn't going to get an answer. "Dave cares about me."

Finn wasn't so sure about that, but he wasn't going to argue. The last thing Kurt needed right now was Finn convincing him that someone else didn't love him. "Are you happy with him?"

Again the silence stretched on, as Kurt debated whether or not to lie to Finn. But it was kind of pointless now; Kurt obviously wasn't happy. "No."

Finn sighed, not really wanting to say what he was about to say, but not really seeing any other option. "Do you still love Blaine?"

"Yes." The response was automatic, no thought, no hesitation.

Finn took a few minutes to think about things. Despite the fact that Kurt had been more miserable over the past three weeks than Finn had ever seen him, and it was all Blaine's fault, he also had to admit that Kurt had been happier than he had ever seen him when he was with Blaine. As much as he hated the curly haired midget for hurting Kurt this much, he knew that at one point Blaine had been good for him. He just couldn't understand how something so good could turn so bad in such a short time. The other thing that Finn didn't get was why Blaine looked so damned depressed too. If he broke up with Kurt because he didn't love him anymore, then why was he so upset? And if he was upset because he still loved him, then why did he break up with him? Damn, Finn had thought girls were confusing... Eventually, Finn came to a conclusion. "I think you should talk to Blaine."

"You were shoving him into lockers and telling me he was the scum of the earth three days ago, and now you're telling me to talk to him? What changed?"

"Dave. We don't like him."

"You don't like Blaine."

"I like him better than I like Karofsky."

Kurt sighed. "It doesn't matter, he won't talk to me."

"We'll see about that."

* * *

><p>"Brittany, everyone is allowed one secret keeper. That's a person that you can tell other people's secrets to." Santana was just curious at first what Brittany meant about turning Blaine back into a unicorn, but now that she knew there was some sort of secret involved, she had to know. There had to be some reason for the crazy shit that was going down.<p>

"If you tell someone other people's secrets then God kills a baby panda," Brittany cried. "You told me that, San." They had been walking down the hallway from their lockers, heading home for the day.

"Yeah, but I forgot to tell you about the secret keeper." God, sometimes it was really hard to keep the stories she told Brittany straight. "God doesn't mind if you only tell your secret keeper."

"You sure? He won't kill a baby panda?"

"I promise."

"Okay. Blaine did a bad thing and he's not a unicorn anymore and that's why he had to break up with Kurt."

"Wait, what bad thing did he do?" And why did he have to break up with Kurt if he was the one who did something bad?

"He cheated on him."

"_Blaine_ cheated on _Kurt?_" No way. Not possible. Those two loved each other more than anything, there's no way either of them would cheat.

"Yup. With Dave."

"_WHAT?_" This was making less and less sense. Dave _hated_ Blaine because he had Kurt, and Dave wanted Kurt. So he slept with Blaine, and then Blaine broke up with Kurt, and now Dave was with... Oh. _Ohh_. Damn that Dave was devious. Santana didn't think he was smart enough to pull off something like that, but apparently she underestimated him. She was going to murder him for causing all this trouble, the stupid, conniving, mother f—

"Blaine!" Santana shouted down the hallway, spotting the mournful boy. He looked up, surprised, looking for all the world like a puppy that had been beaten one too many times and was now afraid of all humans. "We need to talk. Now." She stormed down the hallway with Brittany trailing behind, grabbed Blaine by the arm, and pulled him into an empty classroom, locking the door behind them. Shit, the boy was _scared_. Santana had always liked Blaine, and knew something was up when things first went down, but she had hoped they would figure things out on their own. With that obviously not happening, and now with this new information, Santana knew she had to step in. "Tell me exactly what happened."

"Santana, what are you talking about?" But he knew that she knew. Santana could tell by the terrified look he shot at Brittany.

"Tell me what happened on New Year's." Blaine's face blanched. It wasn't hard for Santana to figure out when this happened, Blaine broke up with Kurt two days into the New Year and Quinn's party would have been the only time anything like that could have happened.

"I-I... San... nothing..." She watched as his face crumpled into submission. "Oh god, don't tell him, please don't tell him."

"Tell me what happened," she repeated, softly, as Brittany went up to Blaine and started petting his hair. He started shaking his head, a wild look in his eyes. "I won't tell him, I promise, but Blaine, you need to give me details."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I don't remember."

A chill went down Santana's spine. "Brittany, sweetie, why don't you go home now, I'll see you later." As soon as the blonde was gone, she turned back to Blaine. "What do you mean, you don't remember?"

"I don't know, I don't... I don't remember. I don't know how it happened. I-I must have been passed out or something and I came to, and he was there, he was... he was..." Blaine couldn't say the words.

"Shit, Blaine, he _raped_ you." Santana's hands were balled up in tight fists, her nails digging small crescents into the palm of her hands. She was going to _murder_ Karofsky.

"He said... He said I wanted it. He said I asked for it. And he didn't actually..." Blaine was ashamed, so ashamed.

"Dammit, it doesn't matter what he said, or exactly what he did! He's a god damn liar. You were _passed out_ Blaine. Tell me, how did you feel when you came to?"

"I, well, umm... I was confused, I didn't know where I was.. and, and I was really dizzy, I couldn't see properly... And I was so tired. I was tired for days afterwards."

"Blaine! He drugged you. The bastard fucking roofied you." Santana was shaking with rage. "I'm going to kill him; he's going to die." She couldn't control her anger, she lashed out at Blaine. "Why didn't you say anything? Why did you let him get away with this?"

"I... I don't... I was drunk."

"Stop trying to blame yourself for this. It was _not_ your fault, do you understand me? We need to do something about this."

"NO!" Blaine's sudden outburst startled Santana, and she calmed down slightly. "No," Blaine repeated, "Kurt can never find out about this. It would kill him. That's why I broke up with him: to protect him."

"Sweetie, it's already killing him. Haven't you seen him? He's miserable. He thinks you don't love him."

"I do love him, I do. What do I do, Santana?"

"Come with me."

* * *

><p>"Where is Kurt?" Santana walked up to Finn and Puck, dragging Blaine behind her. Blaine wished he could just become invisible again, he felt like everyone could see how filthy and damaged he was now.<p>

Finn quirked an eyebrow at her, but didn't say anything about it, because Santana was obviously in a fierce mood. "Umm, I just saw him heading to the parking lot with Karofsky, I think they were leaving."

"Well let's just hope they aren't gone yet. Follow us," she commanded as she stalked towards the parking lot. The four of them walked out the door just in time to see Dave lean in to kiss Kurt, pinned up against his truck. Blaine's stomach lurched, and he just barely stopped himself from throwing up. "Karofsky!" Santana screamed, "You get your filthy paws off of my boy _right now_ afore's I rip your balls off and shove them down your throat."

Kurt jumped at Santana's voice; what was wrong with her? He glanced up to see her, Finn, Puck, and... oh shit, Blaine. What was he doing here? He tried to push Dave off of him, but the bigger boy just pressed into him more. "S-Santana... I... what are you doing?"

"I'm bouts to cut this douche, that's what."

"You heard her, Karofsky," Finn growled, "Get the fuck off my brother." He didn't know what was going on, but he did notice Kurt trying to push Karofsky away. And what the hell was Blaine doing here?

Kurt couldn't stop staring at Blaine, wondering how he missed how bad he looked. He had only seen him from afar, but now that he could actually see him Kurt noticed the dark circles under his eyes, the gaunt look of his face, the pain—oh god, that pain—in his hazel eyes.

"Do you guys mind? I'm having a moment with my boyfriend," Dave sneered. Blaine's face screwed up in further pain, and he looked down to the ground.

"Dave," Kurt warned, begging him not to go there. He didn't want Blaine to hurt anymore. Dave ignored him, leaning in for another kiss. "Dave, stop it." Suddenly Dave was no longer pressing in to him, and Kurt saw that Puck had yanked him back by his jacket and was about to punch him. "Stop. Everybody stop. Can somebody please tell me what is going on here?"

Santana stepped forward, pushing Blaine in front of her. "Blaine has something to say to you."

Kurt watched as Blaine struggled with his words, and he wondered what Blaine wanted to say that he needed a freaking entourage for. He wondered why Blaine wanted to talk to him at all after breaking up with him and completely ignoring him for three weeks.

"Kurt...I-I still... I love you."

Kurt was speechless. Did Blaine just say what he thought he said? He still loved him? Why did he...

"You sure you want to do this, Anderson?" Dave sneered, shaking loose from Puck's grip and backing away from him. "You sure you want to go there?"

Blaine was looking down, refusing to look Kurt in the eyes, afraid that he was too late, afraid of Kurt's reaction when Dave told him.

"Go where, Karofsky?" Santana snapped. "You want to tell Kurt what happened? Go ahead. Tell him." She wasn't actually expecting him to do it, but sometimes he was stupider than he looked.

"Blaine cheated on you."

Blaine couldn't help himself; he looked up to see Kurt's reaction. It wasn't at all what he was expecting. Kurt looked confused, as if he didn't believe for one second that Blaine was capable of doing that.

"Is it true?" he asked in a small voice. Blaine nodded slowly.

"Blaine, you idiot, were you not listening to me? Kurt, no, it's not true." Santana turned to Dave with a fury none of them had ever seen, not when she fought Lauren, not even when they lost Nationals was she this angry. "You. Raped. Him."

Five sets of eyes were staring at Karofsky, and watched his mouth drop open in shock.

"He did what?" Puck growled, approaching him menacingly.

"He did what?" Finn repeated, still looking confused. How did that work?

"I did not," Dave shouted, "That's bullshit."

"Oh really?" Santana's rage could be heard clearly in her voice. "Tell me you didn't slip something in his drink on New Year's, drag him into a room, and take advantage of him. You don't have to have penetration for it to be considered rape."

"It's not true," Dave yelled, but there was no conviction in his voice.

Kurt couldn't believe what he was hearing. He backed away from Dave, then looked over at Blaine, who was looking down at the ground, ashamed. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because Karofsky had him convinced that it was his fault, that he wanted it," Santana explained. "He did it, knowing that Blaine would feel so awful that he would break up with you, and then he could get you."

It finally sank in to Finn's head what was going on, and he advanced on Karofsky, standing next to Puck. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you right now." Dave looked around, as if hoping to find some backup, but when none appeared he simply ran away, and Finn and Puck chased after him.

Santana went up to Kurt and gently pushed Kurt towards Blaine, then walked off in the direction that the boys had disappeared.

Kurt slowly walked up to Blaine and reached a hand out to the side of Blaine's face. He closed his eyes and nuzzled his face into Kurt's palm, and they stood there for a few moments, breathing deeply. Kurt brought his other hand to the other side of Blaine's face, leaning his forehead into him. "I love you."

Blaine broke down crying and wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist, tucking his face into Kurt's shoulder. "I'm s-sorry, Kurt. I—I'm s-so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you, and I didn't... I didn't know what to do."

"Oh, God, Blaine, it's not your fault. It's okay. Shh." Kurt stroked Blaine's hair, whispering in his ear. "Did he hurt you? Please tell me he didn't hurt you. I don't know what I'd do." Kurt was sick to his stomach at the thought of what Dave had done to Blaine, and the fact that Kurt had gone out with him after that... He hated himself for not seeing what was going on.

"He, no, he just... he just..." Again, Blaine couldn't bring himself to say it. He knew they would talk about it at some other point, but right now he didn't want to. "Kurt, I love you so much. I've been dying these past few weeks without you."

"I love you too, Blaine. Don't ever do this to us again. Whatever happens, we can work through it, okay? Promise me."

"I promise. I promise."

* * *

><p><em>One week later<em>

"Karofsky agreed to not press charges against Finn, Puck and Santana for the assault if Blaine agrees not to press charges for... well... you know." Burt looked away uncomfortably.

"I just want to put it behind us," Blaine said, resting his head back on Kurt's chest. They were lying in Kurt's bed, and had just been talking about the incident, when Burt came in with the news. "Good, okay, that's fine." He hesitated at the door.

"What else, dad?" Kurt asked.

"Umm, well he... It looks like Dave will be getting released from the hospital sometime next week. Since you guys don't want to go to the school board, they can't do anything, so he'll probably be going to McKinley for a couple weeks until his dad can get a transfer worked out."

Kurt and Blaine both sighed; they had already been discussing that possibility. "Okay."

"Kurt, if you boys need to get out of there—"

"No, dad. Thanks, but... Blaine and I have agreed; we don't want to go anywhere. We are both tired of running. Besides, what more can he do to us? We have each other, and we have the rest of the gang. We're staying at McKinley."

Burt nodded his head slowly. "Okay. If that's what you want, that's fine by me. But you tell me the instant he gives either of you any more trouble, you understand?" The boys nodded, and Burt left, giving them their privacy.

Kurt pressed a kiss into Blaine's curly hair, returning to their earlier conversation. "Thank you for telling me."

"Thanks for listening. I love you."

"I love you too. We're going to be okay."

"Yeah, we are."

* * *

><p><strong>Ahhh, angsty boys... I may or may not have had a few tears while writing some parts of this... This was my first attempt at angst, so I hope it was okay. Please feel free to give me feedback :)<strong>


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